Fitting In

The dog went to the head of the line
And asked for directions
And was told
"We'll be lining up in two rows on the sidewalk
And we will enter the gates together"

So the dog tried to find a place in the line
The other dogs all had uniforms
She looked down
Her coat was matted
And she needed a bath
She was ashamed and took a step back
Wanting to be in the other line
But then the other line filled up quickly
and pushed her away

And they all marched in through the gates
She watched them
They looked pretty
Being all alike
And they barked so beautifully in unison
Like one giant dog with many parts

She heard the gate clank shut
And she watched all the dogs laughing and running and playing
From outside the gate

But behind her she heard a sound
Another dog arrived
Older, larger...a bit scruffy...like her
And asked her if she wanted to walk with him for a while

They walked and talked about God and things
The choices they made
The dreams they had
The way they thought the world should be, could be
If we all just loved each other a little bit more

The dog felt a little better
Didn't mind her scruffy coat so much
And placed her head under the chin of the the big dog
I will remember you, she told him.
And he left.

Then the dog lay down on the sidewalk before the big gates
The laughter and barking had grown faint
But she could smell the flowers as the wind blew across her nose

Maybe tomorrow, she thought
Maybe tomorrow they'll let me in.

Love, Cindy
copyright March 2011

Radical Theology

Because I love you

You can hurt me

Because we share a meal

You can betray me

Hand me over to the Pharisees

Take my living force, my love

And nail it to a cross

Because I know you 

And you know me

We can disappoint each other

Treat each other 

As objects

As tools

As a means to an end

Because love wounds

And heals

And makes us care 

About each other
When indifference would be so much easier

I feel alone
Because I love you
Because I miss you
And want you with me always

The animal that once roamed wild at night
Wants a home, a fire, a family, a kiss
And an embrace that tells me
"Perfect is resting in your arms alone."


Some days I see only the nails

I follow the trail of blood 
And see how we only seem to wound each other


Why did you kill me?
Make me your prize?
Give me another name
To make your life easier?


I am. 
You are my beloved daughter.
Take the risk.
Love me.


Cindy
March 28, 2011

Time enough

I really miss my flying dreams...

Racing along in the night sky
A web of electric cables above me
To keep my from flying too high
Shocking me
Burning me
Back into the ground
Weeping and wounded
Where the "less thans" live

But one night
One holy night
Just after I received Him
Just after midnight
When I was not asleep
I flew above the cables
And on into heaven
Where all the "more thans" live
More than you can imagine
More than you ever thought you could be
More than any human could ever do
I flew
Into His arms
Where even darkness was not dark
And all the pain was gone
Where He loved me most perfectly

There in the heavens
I flew among the angels
Above the electic cables
Into the perfect

I saw the souls of every man and woman ever created
Since He first thought us up
And they were all happy
In that space between Mary's arms and mine

I knew in that moment
The electric cables would never stop me again

Because He loved me first...

Cindy Johnson
March 27, 2011

New Moon

There is a stirring inside my soul

Of a song yet to be sung

With words I haven't found

But feelings, always feelings

Crowd out the rational mind

For the vagrancy of a heart

That never found a home

"Into Your hands I commend my spirit"

These daily words not yet fulfilled

Making me feel somehow less

Because I'm still holding on

"A restful night and a peaceful death"

Is every day a gift to those who

Surrender

But I was born a warrior

Out of the womb

Kicking and screaming

Who is my mother?

Where is my mother?

Where did you take her?

Why am I so cold?

Give me my sword, my armor, my mind

So that on each moonless night

I stand ready

For the next thing to happen

CMJ copyright March 2011